Think about a time recently when you got really nervous or anxious because you put a load of pressure on yourself. Maybe your voice quivered and your words came out all mumbled. Maybe your hands were shaky and you started sweating. Maybe you made a mistake because you were focused too hard and trying not to make a mistake.
Building off that last example, that happened to me last week. I play on a USTA summer tennis league. Last week was the first match outside of our regular season because my team was in the top four and moved on in our league. My partner and I always play well together when we practice, but it was our first time playing together in a USTA match.
We totally blew it. We both got nervous before the match, and we’re both chronic overthinkers. We beat ourselves. The opponents did not beat us. And it was all because we put a lot of pressure on ourselves at the beginning and let the nerves and pressure of wanting to win take over. Knowing that a loss/mistake is all on your own shoulders makes it a bit more difficult to swallow and move past.
I feel like I say this a lot in my posts (probably because I talk a lot about overcoming challenges), but learning to stop putting so much pressure on yourself is much easier said than done. We’re all different, but if you’re like me and find yourself frequently putting way too much pressure on yourself than what is necessary, then it’s time to figure out a solution.
Sometimes we may thrive on pressure and excel when faced with adversity. Other times (like in my tennis example), the pressure comes back to bite us because we should have never let it affect us in the first place. It was unnecessary pressure.
This is something I’m continuously working on conquering, and I’m learning some tactics work better than others. Here are a few suggestions on what to do to alleviate unnecessary pressure and get back to positive thinking:
- Give yourself a pep talk. Give your pep talk out loud if you can. Sometimes hearing confidence in your own voice is enough to put you back in the right mindset.
- Get a pep talk from someone else. Maybe self pep talks don’t do it for you, but there’s a friend or family member who always knows the right thing to say. Consult with that person before your big meeting, game or presentation. If you know there are certain life happenings that always trigger unnecessary pressure, make sure you build in time to talk with that person before it’s go time so you can calm your nerves.
- Laugh. When my partner and I started making each other laugh at our match last week, I immediately felt a wave of relief and started playing better. Laughter is a natural calming technique. Listen to a podcast of your favorite comedian, or watch a YouTube video that always cracks you up (watch the “no, no, no kitty” video and tell me you didn’t laugh!). Tap into the power of laughing and smiling.
- Think about things that make you happy, or something you’re looking forward to doing. This one helps me a lot. If I start feeling a lot of pressure or nervous, I try really hard to think about the things/people/events that make me most happy. Sometimes I’ll think about something coming up in the near future that I’m really excited about. Focus on the good things that are yet to come to help you get through whatever it is you’re struggling with in the immediate present.
- Breathe. Simple, yet very helpful. I’m not down with meditation (tried it once, never went back), but taking a few deep breaths always calms me down.
- Remind yourself that it’s not a life or death situation. Unless it truly is a life or death situation, remember the amount of unnecessary pressure you’re putting on yourself is absurd because it’s not that dire of a situation. Will the world continue to go on after whatever event that’s causing you this much angst is over? If yes, then calm down.
I’m curious to know how others handle getting rid of unnecessary pressure. Do you use any of these tactics? What works best for you?