April 25, 2011

How to Combat the Fear of the Unknown

I have a confession…

I have a perpetual fear of the unknown. Those “what if” questions nag at me constantly, and I hate not knowing what the outcome of something will be when I make a decision…particularly a big, important decision.

No, I’m not lucid. I know it’s never possible to know what will happen in the future, and we can’t live our lives in fear of making choices and decisions because we can’t predict what comes next. But I think long and hard about any big decision I make, and I do my best to make wise and strategic decisions. Naturally, I want to be sure any big decision I make will result in something positive happening in my life and/or the lives of others around me.

Perhaps my mindfulness has come back to bite me one too many times. I spend so much time weighing every option that I fear that ultimate point of decision time because there is no way to predict what will happen once the process gets underway.

I’ve made several big decisions throughout the past couple of years – I decided to leave my very first job out of college to get more ingrained in how social media and public relations go hand-in-hand, and I decided to say “yes” and take the next step in mine and MAL’s relationship. Both big decisions. Both scary, yet incredibly exciting, decisions to make.

How have I handled making big decisions if I’m constantly fearing the outcomes? Well, a lot of self pep talks. A lot of long talks with close friends who willingly listen as I ramble on and on about pros and cons. A lot of trusting my gut instincts. A lot of coaxing to push myself out of my comfort zone and to take risks. And a lot of trust. Trust in my ability to make smart decisions, and trust in the people who are part of that decision.

But now, as I envision several more serious decisions looming in my future, that fear comes creeping back in. Maybe it will never go away. Maybe I’m not as alone in this “need for answers” battle as I think I am. Maybe it’s healthy to always have a little bit of fear because it forces us to think things through clearly and to make rational decisions.

I can hear the advice now – Focus on what truly matters. Don’t stress about the little things in life you can’t control. Take more time to think about the big life decisions, and always keep your eye on what really matters to you in life. Ya know what I say? Easier said than done.

I don’t have the answers. But I’m curious to know what you think. Am I alone here (I highly doubt it, but I want some validation!)? Have you taken similar approaches as I have when making important decisions? How do you bring positive thoughts into the decision making process? How do you combat the fear of the unknown?

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