Positivity|Success Archives

The way we choose to approach life’s circumstances has the ultimate impact on how we handle the situation, as well as the end result.

Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar: You have something big coming up that you’re really excited about. It’s something positive that you’ve been looking forward to for a long time. As the big day gets closer, excitement starts to change over to anxiety and nervousness. You start thinking and worrying about all the things that could go wrong that could destroy this big moment. You start doubting yourself. You can’t get the negative thoughts out of your head. You can’t fall asleep at night because you keep thinking about all the “what ifs.” You know you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself, but you can’t help it. Know what I’m talking about?

Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we let a negative attitude, self doubt and incessant worrying take over before something positive or happy is about to happen in our lives? Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who never worries unless you’re given a reason to worry. If so, I wish I had your mental strength!

As I was putting my thoughts together for this post, I came across this Business Insider article – Your Attitude Determines Whether or Not You’ll Succeed. I highly suggest you read the article, but if you want the main points, I’ll make it easy for you:

“The results of your actions have little to do with what you are actually doing and almost everything to do with your attitude.”

“You can put on a happy face temporarily when you’re in front of the right people, but your attitude is what determines the decisions that no one else sees until it’s too late.”

“Your attitude is what ultimately determines if you achieve your goals or if you fall short.”

“If you want to find the brightest parts of the universe around you, then that is what you will find. Your attitude will lead you there.”

This makes perfect sense, yet it’s easier said than done, right?

I’m currently experiencing the ultimate attitude test right now. To make a long story short, I’m on day 12 of a prolonged hospital stay for monitoring due to a complication associated with my twin pregnancy (follow me on Twitter and look for the #littlebabies hashtag for daily updates, if you’re interested). Everything is fine with the babies – this is just a precautionary measure.

To add to that, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes the week before I got admitted. I already wasn’t looking forward to the hospital stay, but I had no idea how many needle pokes and fussing over me I would experience until I got here (did I mention I hate needles and have a low pain tolerance?). The nurses and doctors at Royal Oak Beaumont are great and I know they are just doing their jobs, but it has been nonstop for 12 days. Thankfully, my blood sugar is regulated now so testing and needle pokes have slowed down (not enough for my liking, but hey, it’s better than before!). And, I’ve adjusted as much as I possibly can to being cooped up in a hospital room.

My attitude hasn’t been perfect since I got here. I’ve had good and bad days and multiple breakdowns. But, it’s amazing how much better I feel when I don’t allow myself to wallow in my sorrows. I keep reminding myself that this is all worth it to have two healthy babies, and people all over the world are experiencing (and have experienced) way worse than this. If those people can battle through their troubles with a positive attitude, so can I.

I still haven’t conquered all the negative thoughts, worrying and wondering about the “what ifs” that keep me from sleeping well, but I’ve made some progress.

My good friend Dave Murray gave me some great advice that may help you if you’re having trouble keeping your attitude in check or are constantly worrying about something. I don’t meditate, and I failed miserably the one time I tried, but Dave recommended the Meditation Oasis podcasts. He also suggested reading or studying something you’re interested in, but have no experience doing or studying. World War II military history worked for him. You may be thinking you have no time to add something new to your daily routine, but you can start out small and read, listen to or watch something 15-20 minutes before bed to help ward off the negative thoughts.

I’m working on finding the best mix for me. I have anywhere from 2.5 to four weeks left here, and I know I need to get my attitude and “what if” thoughts under control. This is absolutely one of those situations where I’m letting a lot of nonsense overshadow what will soon be the happiest time in my life. And I shouldn’t be.

What works for you? What methods and tactics have you used to help you keep a positive attitude?

Sidenote: THANK YOU to everyone who has shared encouraging thoughts and advice, sent flowers and visited me. I can’t even begin to express my appreciation for your support. You’re helping me get through this, and I’m forever grateful!

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I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to attend TEDxDetroit 2012 at the end of October. What I love about TEDxDetroit is that it’s so different from any other event or conference I’ve ever attended. I always leave feeling inspired and refreshed with new ideas and inspiration for how to improve upon my professional and personal life.

This year proved no different. There were several entrepreneurs who shared their personal stories and advice on how to turn ideas into action and success. Here are my favorite quotes from the event:

“Call the world’s bluff.” – Andy Didorosi, president and founder of The Detroit Bus Company.

How many times has someone told you your idea is too “out there,” or something along those lines? When you hit roadblocks or opposition, do you stop, or do you power through? Andy’s advice is simple – When someone tells you it’s not possible, find a way to prove them wrong.

I believe it’s OK to pursue new ideas if you’ve done the research, made an attempt, yet realized it’s just not going to work out (more on the whole “when it’s OK to stop” topic coming in a future post). But if you don’t at least attempt to call the world’s bluff, you’re not only doing a disservice to yourself, but also to those who you could potentially affect and help in a positive way should you prove the naysayers wrong.

“Something is better than nothing.” – Tom Nardone, leader of the Mower Gang

I’ve been guilty of focusing too much on the big wins and not taking enough time to appreciate the small wins. Tom gave a good and important reminder that something is better than nothing. So you may not solve the entire problem, but if you’re chipping away by making baby steps toward an ultimate goal, then you’re still making a difference.

“Embrace change, keep the faith and make magic.” – Marlo Rencher, CEO of Good Sweat

Three separate thoughts, but harnessing each of these will help move the needle toward success. You can’t improve and succeed unless you use change to your advantage. If you don’t have faith and confidence in whatever it is you ultimately want to achieve, you’ll never make it. Finally, focus on your craft. Do what you do best. Make the magic that only you know how to make. If you’re producing the best possible work you can, you will see results.

“Thinking isn’t enough. Put action behind thoughts.” – David McGhee, program director for the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Greater Flint 100 Men 100 Boys Program

We all know this, yet we continue to do it. We come up with ideas, then we sit on them. Maybe we start putting together the building blocks, but something always distracts or dissuades us. Your thoughts alone aren’t going to produce greatness. Don’t know where to start? Start somewhere. Anywhere. Just start. Seek out others who can help you move things forward if you get discouraged or don’t know what to do next. Action makes things happen. Thoughts are just the conduit to success.

Huge thanks and congrats to all the TEDxDetroit producers for another job well done!

Does any of this advice resonate with you and encourage you to move forward on something you’ve been holding back on? What other advice has helped spark success for you?

I’ve been part of the Help a PR Pro Out (HAPPO) team for awhile now, and I get a ton of value from my involvement in the organization. I use social media every day for personal and professional reasons, so being part of an organization that helps connect job seekers and employers through social media has been very rewarding.

Arik Hanson, Minnesota PR pro and HAPPO co-founder, started a new initiative last year called The HAPPO Report, a weekly e-newsletter that’s sent to more than 250 PR pros/communicators across the Twin Cities. It includes relevant jobs, upcoming events, posts from the last week and a featured job seeker each week.

Thanks to Arik’s support, The HAPPO Michigan Report will launch very soon and will contain the same content (but specific to Michigan, of course). If all goes as planned, the first e-newsletter will go out before the end of February. It will be biweekly and will hit your inbox on Wednesdays.

Sound like something that’s worthy of adding yet another e-newsletter to your inbox (c’mon, you know you want to!)? You can subscribe now. If you have an available communications position, are hosting an event and want to share it in The HAPPO Report once it launches or would like to be a featured job seeker, feel free to contact me.

If you want to know what else the HAPPO team has in the works for 2012, Arik shares the future of HAPPO and what you can do to help in this recent post.

Who doesn’t love a big win? I’m calling you out if you say you don’t! It’s hard not to love rewards for hard work. To add some context to the discussion, when I say big win, I’m referring to:

Landing a new client when you’ve worked long and hard on the proposal.
Overcoming a challenge you’ve been working to get past.
Achieving an important goal.
Landing a new job or promotion that takes you to the next step in your career.
Completing your first half-marathon (or, if you’re like me, you aim for 5Ks and consider those a big win!).

The list goes on, but you get the point. Most people would consider those big wins.

But do we always have to aim for such grandiose achievements? What happened to relishing in the small wins that eventually add up to a big win? Oftentimes, we fail to recognize and reward those small wins because we’re constantly fixated on something bigger and better. And believe me, I am included in all this “we” talk. I wanted to write about the importance of acknowledging small wins as often as we acknowledge the big wins because I’m not doing it enough.

Having an “always want more” attitude is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because people with that quality never settle for anything shy of great. They always push beyond the set boundaries, and they are never, ever complacent. When they accomplish goals, they barely let themselves soak up the rewards before they’re moving on to the next thing because they constantly aim to churn out great results. Employers want this type of mentality in their employees.

Continue reading “Why You Must Start Appreciating the Small Wins in Life”