Forewarning to all the guys reading this: This post is very geared toward women. I still think you’ll find it an interesting read and would love your input, so hope you stay with me.
If you’re a woman who is career focused, I know you’ve read your fair share of stories about how women are treated differently in the workplace, or how it’s impossible for women to strike the perfect career/life balance. Recently, former Google exec Marissa Mayer announced she was taking over as CEO of Yahoo. That’s huge news, and media widely reported it, but the stories quickly turned to focus on the fact that she’s pregnant. Various news organizations wrote about advice they have for Marissa on taking over a fledgling company while handling the stress of being a first time mom.
I agree with everything my friend Gini Dietrich talks about in her post questioning why we’re still having this conversation. Have we stepped into a time warp? Sure seems like it with how Marissa being pregnant took the focus away from the real news – her stepping up to hopefully turn around Yahoo and make it a successful company again.
I use this example not because I want to expand on the topic (it’s already been done, way too much), but rather to set up what I want to discuss in this post – women (whether single with no kids or married with a family) succeeding in the workplace.
This week, I attended the Crain’s Women: Profiles in Power event, which was all about how women can break out of the box into impactful careers. Several local female leaders also shared the lessons they’ve learned during their careers that helped them get to where they are today.
The keynote speaker, Sara Laschever, co-author of “Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide,” focused her talk on negotiation in business. One critical skill women need to succeed in business is they must know how to ask for what they want. Women need to have enough courage and confidence to have the tough conversations with their bosses and clients that will eventually lead them to where they want to go in their careers.
Here are some other interesting takeaways Sara and the panelists shared during the event:
- Women have good negotiating skills for others, but aren’t as strong when it comes to negotiating for themselves.
- Women are less likely to endure five minutes of social discomfort to ask for more money during reviews.
- Men initiate negotiations on average four times more than women.
- Men are also more likely to ask for referrals, resources needed and whatever it is they need to acquire skills to get to the next level.
- Think of your whole life in a sense of expanded possibilities.
- Why don’t women ask: Society likes little girls to be sweet and not bossy or demanding and boys to be tough guys. Children learn lessons so fast. We don’t like women who we perceive to be aggressive. We stigmatize them with names like overbearing and high maintenance. Women are excluded from social and professional networks where men give each other a lot of advice. Net result is different feelings in negotiating.
- When asked to describe negotiating, women chose words/phrases like “scary” and “feels like going to the dentist” while men said it’s “fun” and “like going to a ball game.”
- Don’t accept the status quo. Assume everything is negotiable. Do your research and talk to men, as well as women, before a negotiation situation.
- When you’re in a power position in business, be OK knowing people are going to talk. Don’t get caught up in how you’re perceived. Don’t not be yourself.
- Just like many other things in life and business, it’s all about relationships.
Your turn. Do you think negotiating skills are a crucial component of women succeeding in business (I do)? Do you have an example of when negotiating did or didn’t work in your favor?