I’ve never cared for my last name. Even though it took until my late teenage years, I love and appreciate my very Italian and very unique first name (Nicolena, for those of you who only know me as Nikki). I always wished I had an awesome Italian last name to pair nicely with my first name. Not the case.
Stephan is not all that unconventional, but you wouldn’t believe how difficult it is for people to pronounce or spell. I’ve been Stephen, Stephens, Stefan…and everything in between. So you would think I’d be super excited to be less than three months away from snagging a new last name that is nearly impossible to misspell or mispronounce (MAL’s last name is Little).
It’s actually the opposite. All of a sudden, the thought of losing the last name I’ve had for nearly 27 years is terrifying. It’s like I’m giving up my identity. And with the social Web being such an integral part of my personal and professional life, my last name is also a huge part of my online identity. My last name is included on just about every online network or profile I’ve ever created. I’ve worked hard for the past five years to build a name for myself (or in other words, a personal brand, even though I still struggle with embracing that phrase). Now I’m steps away from giving up that name forever.
I know there are two simple solutions: Don’t take MAL’s name, or hyphenate my name. Hyphenating my name is not in the least bit appealing to me. So I’m left with the option of keeping my name as is.
It’s going against “tradition”, but as I talk to more people about it, I’m learning it’s not as uncommon as I’ve convinced myself it is. Yet, I can’t help feeling that I’m rebelling against marriage in some way. Is it acceptable to love someone enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them, yet not be in love with the idea of taking that person’s last name? Everyone who chose to keep their last name would say yes, right?
Maybe this is ridiculous and should be the least of my worries, but then I think about how I’ll have to make all the online changes. My Twitter handle (don’t worry, I already snagged @nikki_little), my website (yup, also bought nikkilittle.com – before I was even engaged!), my name on all the various profiles and networks that I’ve created, my email, etc.
I’ve been through this name switch process once already. Back when I first joined Twitter in August 2007, my very first handle was @EstrellaBella10, and I used that name on several other platforms and networks. When I switched over to @nikkistephan in October of last year (thank you Brand Camp University for the final push that convinced me to move over to my real name), I realized that some sites will not let you change your username. Therefore, I’m still EstrellaBella10 on sites like Delicious and Etsy. So, it’s not that I’m concerned with the name update process being arduous or tedious should I decide to change my last name. I’m concerned with having three different profile/usernames – essentially three different identities for one person – in an online world where consistency and uniformity are key when choosing the names that represent your online presence.
And frankly, I don’t know if I want to force people to know me by anything other than the name I’ve had all my life. Going back to the whole personal brand issue, I worry that I’m taking a few steps backwards if I switch my name. Trust me – I do not think of myself as some celebrity whose name is well-known and recognized across the universe. It’s not.
For those of you who have changed your name or are married to someone who has, what’s your experience been like? Am I making my personal brand and online identity a bigger part of this decision process than they should be?
Obviously, I’m looking for (and am in desperate need of) some feedback here, so your thoughts/insight/constructive criticisms would be much appreciated. And apologies for the more personal, less educational/give you something of value post.