I’ve noticed a growing trend in the way people respond to this simple question: “How are you?” And I’m very curious to know if anyone else has picked up on this trend.
Think back to the past few conversations you’ve had with people. When you asked them how they were doing, what was the response? I bet you got some variation of this: “I’m so busy that I don’t even know what to do with myself!”
This is the trend I’ve been noticing lately when I first engage in a conversation with someone, both in person and online. It’s rare if the “How are you?” or “How have you been?” question produces a response like “I’ve been great” or “All is well.” That type of response used to be typical. Not anymore. Now, the answer almost always has something to do with how busy the person’s life is, or how he/she just can’t seem to catch up on things.
Why is this? Are we all cramming our lives with too much work and extracurricular activities? Or have we simply become conditioned to automatically saying that we’re so busy – either because we truly feel like we are or because that’s they new norm?
I’m also wondering if we feel like it’s no longer socially acceptable to be anything other than busy. Being busy is a sign of professional success. How often does someone respond to the “How are you?” question with “Work and life are pretty darn slow”? I can’t tell you the last time someone told me they were living a slow or normally-paced life. That’s because being overloaded and bombarded with to-dos and information has become standard in today’s society, as well as an indication of success.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how different people view success in their lives. For many, a successful life is a busy life. Work is not contained within the 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. hours. When they aren’t working, every minute of open time is filled with something else (professional development, family, friends, social activities, educational advancement, etc.).
On the other hand, there are people who live a more normally-paced life who would say they are just as successful as someone working 70 plus hours a week and balancing 478484 other things in life.
There’s no one way to define success. What success looks like to me may look completely different to you. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Problems arise when feeling anything less than crazed busy produces thoughts of inadequacy. I say this because I’ve felt this on several occasions. If there are a few days in a row where I find myself having more down time than usual, I immediately think something is wrong. I tell myself that I must be forgetting to do something, or I feel like I need to be taking advantage of that down time to be productive in other areas of my life that don’t get as much attention when I’m really busy.
Isn’t that somewhat of a warped mentality though? We all need our down time. We need time to turn off. No serious thinking. No to-do lists. No computers or cell phones. Our bodies crave that time. Yet, I’m worried the nature of our fast-paced lives doesn’t allow us to enjoy that time as much as we should.
And that’s a serious problem.
I’ve asked a lot of questions in this post. So, I want to know if anyone else is feeling this same way. Do you notice that everyone around you always seems to be moving at warp speed – including you? Do you feel any less successful as a person and/or professional if you find yourself having more down time than normal? I’d love to hear your thoughts.