It’s called “bittersweet change” for a reason. If you dissect the first word in the phrase, you’ll find there’s a combination of negative and positive, with the negative leading and positive following. We recognize change as bittersweet when we know something good or new will ultimately follow something difficult and challenging. I’ve learned that change is all about perseverance, and that is particularly true with this type of change.
I’ve gone through two experiences recently that 100% fall into the category of bittersweet change – the death of my grandmother and stepping out of a role for an organization I’ve dedicated myself (and much of my free time) to for the past three years. Let me explain how both of these changes are bittersweet and how through my experience with them, I better understand how to handle similar changes in the future (and hopefully you will, too).
My grandma was 96 years old and lived a life relatively free of health problems. No major surgeries, no cancer and no other serious illnesses. She never looked a day older than 75, and was darn proud of it. Over the past year, her health started to decline. I blame it on a number of factors, but ultimately old age took over. Selfishly, I wasn’t ready for her to go. She was the closest family member to me outside of my immediate family. She started babysitting me when I was a newborn. She lived behind the house I grew up in until I was a sophomore in high school (then she moved 30 minutes away). I used to stay the night there on weekends when I was younger just because. We used to walk to Burger King together in the summer, play cards and watch The Price is Right and her favorite soap operas.
The memories are countless, which is why it was so hard to recognize that the end had finally come. But, I knew it was her time, and I knew she would be better off. I felt selfish hoping and praying she would live longer because I knew she was ready to go. Believing she would end up in a happier place is what continues helping me heal through this bittersweet change in my life. Clinging to the “sweet” part of this change has been my saving grace.
The second bittersweet change came when I made the decision to step away from my Tweetea leadership and moderator role. This came as a result of the promise I made at the end of last year to start trimming back my commitments in order to live a more balanced and healthy life. This will completely depend on your future plans, but if you’re someone who commits to several roles and organizations outside of your work, there’s going to come a time when you need to cut back. You may be like me and absolutely hate the idea of letting go of things that added such value to your life, but ultimately, some things have to go in order to find the right balance and better align yourself with current/future commitments.
I will forever be grateful for the way Tweetea and everyone involved in that community enriched my life. I learned new things, made new friends and got to be part of really cool experiences, like when Chrysler communications pros came to Tweetea to open up about social media and discuss the “F-bomb tweet” situation. I will never stop supporting the organization as long as it exists, and I’ll attend future meetups when it makes sense for me to do so. Similar to my first example, knowing that letting go of this responsibility would ultimately lead to other benefits in my life (not feeling like I’m stretched too thin, extra time to dedicate to work as my load and team grow, more time to spend with MAL, etc.), is what convinced me that I was making the right decision.
Have you picked up on the moral of the story yet? I’m sure you can think of a few bittersweet changes that have impacted your life at some point. For all the ones that are yet to come, focus on the sweet to get through the bitter. There are varying degrees of bitter in each change, but remember the painful and challenging part will eventually dissipate, and something good will be waiting on the other side.
Have any additional advice on how to handle bittersweet change?